Hats

Hats are a type of Cosmometic item that you can unlock by completing special goals in campaign mode. Different hats can be worn by using the dresser in Morvin's room. Locked hats are displayed on the dresser's screen as a silhouette until they are unlocked by completing the goal described above the icon. Hats can be equipped on both Morvin and Morv-0 if there is a second player. All of the hats are listed below along with their description and how to unlock them.

Cosmo's Hat
Unlock - This is Morvin's default hat and is unlocked from the beginning of the game.

Description - A trusty dusty hat worn by Cosmo during his halcyon days. Clearly, those days ended for him long ago.



Can of Space Beans
Unlock - This is Morv-0's default hat and is unlocked from the beginning of the game.

Description - Everybody knows beans don’t burn on the grill, which makes this hat perfect for Morv-0’s sizzling head.



Thinking Cap
Unlock - Complete your first day with an amenity equipped.

Description - Increases your skill in calculus by approximately 2.718 percent.

Perfectly Normal Hat
Unlock - Only travel clockwise with teleporters while getting 6 or more combos.

Description - There's nothing wrong with this hat at all.



Mind Protection Helmet
Unlock - Listen to 60 seconds of Ace of Space in a day while remaining profitable.

Description - It protects! It deflects! But most importantly, it defends your mind from brain-devouring cosmic horrors!



Powdered Wig
Unlock - Earn over $1500 in one day.

Description - It smells like the Continental Congress.



Florbit Cap
Unlock - Overstock the vending machine by 100 in one day!

Description - This piece of promotional swag came from an aggressive Florbit marketing campaign featuring the tagline “GET FLOR’D!”



Weird Game Show Helmet
Unlock - Play a day with a fully upgraded Glorp Room.

Description - A prop from an old game show that once awarded modest station wagons to families in exchange for their dignity.



Big Brother's Helmet
Unlock - Enter at least 20 correct lotto tickets in a row only using 3 buttons.

Description - Be the master of your very own dystopian surveillance state!



Triassic Land Pith Helmet
Unlock - Get a $150 from Directions kickbacks on a normal day.

Description - Typical headgear worn by dinosaur theme park patrons.



Glorgrim Night Cap
Unlock - Fully upgrade the Arcade.

Description - A rare promotional item accompanying the release of Glorgrim Says: Still Not Illegal Edition. You aren’t certain, but it feels like this hat can taste your thoughts.



Spinning Plates Beanie
Unlock - Get a perfect day in the 8 dock layout with 4 amenities on a normal day.

Description - Is this supposed to be a metaphor for something?



Birthday Bash Hat
Unlock - Get a perfect day in the 8 dock layout with 4 amenities on a normal day.

Description - Undock 8 docks within 3 seconds.



Chompy Beanie
Unlock - Beat the first boss.

Description - It almost looks like a real Chompy!



Business Bug Beanie
Unlock - Beat the second boss.

Description - Wearing this gives you an unexpected desire to fill out paperwork.



Business Bug Beanie
Unlock - Beat the third boss.

Description - Complete with bubble helmet and impotable water.



Shoobie Visor
Unlock - Complete Shoobie day.

Description - A visor for your visor!



Reptilian Cap
Unlock - Complete Reptilian day.

Description - Lets you speak Reptilian.



Nogwobbler Headdress
Unlock - Complete Nogwobbler day.

Description - A wobbly noggin topper.



Star Baby Bowler
Unlock - Complete Star Baby day.

Description - Wearing this makes you feel a bit childish.



Bot Jockey Helmet
Unlock - Complete Bot Jockey day.

Description - A symbiotic companion!



Prickle Ten Gallon Hat
Unlock - Complete Prickle day.

Description - It's so lifelike that it fooled a bee.



Matrimonial Top Hat
Unlock - ?????

Description - Bestows upon its wearer the authority to officiate nuptial ceremonies.



Cash Gremlin Boater
Unlock - ?????

Description - According to legend, the elusive Cash Gremlin will grant unlimited financial success to anyone who manages to catch it.